newsornotnews (noticiaononoticia)

I love tuning my guitars. You clip the tuner to the guitar head, turn it on and pluck a string. The face of the tuner lights up, showing the note of the string you’ve played, and indicating, through lit bars on each side of the note, whether you’re sharp or flat. Then you adjust the tuning peg until the face turns green. It’s such a satisfying chore. The guitar sounds so great when it’s tuned right. Unfortunately, tuning is my area of greatest competence. I’ve been trying to teach myself to play since December and, honestly, i’m barely better at it now than i was the second day learning. There are about two dozen chords that I remember very imperfectly and it takes me about 30 seconds to switch from one to the other. On the one hand, it’s kind of pathetic and a bit discouraging. On the other, you strum your pick against the strings and it just sounds so beautiful. I’m amazed a beginner can make such a great sound. I really like doing it. Not only that – it affords you opportunities to buy things and I love buying things. Getting new stuff is one of my greatest pleasures. Hence, i’ve bought the new tuner. And guitars. I’ve kind of gone crazy buying guitars.

There’s also a smaller acoustic guitar I keep in my bedroom. That’s ten altogether meaning I average about two and a half chords per guitar. I’m sticking to it, though. I play four or five 15 minute stretches in the course of the day.  I’m also feeling like I have all the guitars I need for the time being so it’s all good. Nowhere to go but up. By the way, I can’t play saxophone either.

The NYT has posted an article online that purports to report on the Donald’s behavior with the ladies. It’s headed “Crossing the Line: How Donald Trump Behaved with Women in Private”. If that sounds soft, the story itself is a down pillow. A handful of women each relate their own separate anecdotes illustrating the Donald’s piggishness, condescension and self-aggrandizement. There’s a beaut about him having the Miss Universe contestants dress and parade for his own private viewing. There’s another creepy instance of him describing his daughter as hot. Basically, though, there’s no story here. I enjoy gossip and dirt as much as the next guy (more, probably) but there’s no cohesive story here. No smoking gun. And if you haven’t identified the orange man as a self-deceiving parody of machohood jerk by now, this article isn’t going to do it for you. Its greatest goal is to stay litigation-proof and it ends up pointless as a result, which is a shame. Next time, let’s start with Fred the father’s mistresses and move on to Donald’s.

I don’t get to L.A. often but, whenever I’ve gone, it’s been with the intention of seeing Jon Brion at his weekly Friday show, first at Largo and then at the Coronet. Never got there, though. Last night, however, Brion (who’s name is pronounced like the name Brian and not bree-on as I thought) took his act to City Winery. Tickets for the show only went on sale a week before and it was unannounced by the venue. Still, the house was full for a performance scheduled to begin at 11:15 but which didn’t actually start until close to midnight. He played over two and a half hours. Jon’s thing is to do covers, some selected by audience request, in novel impromptu, kind of nutty, versions. F’rinstance, having heard requests for a David Bowie and a Randy Newman song, he proceeded to play “Heroes” as a New Orleans barrelhouse and then  a spaceage “Dayton Ohio 1903” with a synthesized loop screeching throughout. He did a fantastically fuzz-toned version of the Duke’s “Solitude”. His musicianship is fantastic, moving among guitars and keyboards and vibraphone even. His voice is not a very versatile instrument, a little reedy, and he’s not so good on lyrics (he often invited the audience to do the singing, occasionally to great effect) but it was a wonderful show. I’d see him again anytime. I’m sure no two shows are remotely the same. He performs some of his own material too which is just fine but he closed with a haunting version of “These Days” on vibraphone. The repertoire had a New York spin (there was a boss nova “Pale Blue Eyes”) and this New Yorker left grateful he had come east for this Friday night. Jon promised future local shows soon and I plan on being there.